Donor Embryo #2

I started this blog in September 2021, less than a month after our second donor embryo… after our second miscarriage. This week would have been our baby’s due date. My second last blog post has almost brought us full circle to the reason I started this blog… So here is the story of our second donor embryo transfer:

Our first donor embryo did not end in a positive result, potentially because of the embryo quality after thawing, or because of my thyroid, or a combination of the two. I continued to see my new naturopath who treated me for my endometriosis and thyroid while we looked for a new donor. The donor we chose also only had one embryo, but it appeared to be of great quality.  

After a miscarriage or failed cycle, you need to wait until for our next menstrual cycle before you contact the clinic. On the cycle following that one, you can start a medication protocol to prepare for your next transfer. That meant that the soonest we could try again would be July/August. We chose to do our next transfer right away because it meant I wouldn’t have to take time off work for appointments and post-transfer downtime.  

At the end of July, we made our trek to Calgary. We spent a few days relaxing, eating, and enjoying the sunshine before transfer day. Unlike our first embryo, this one survived the thaw 100% and looked great when we transferred. When we got home, we packed up and went to the lake. I tried to keep my mind busy. I tried not to look for symptoms or signs that I might be pregnant. About a week after the transfer, I sat in my sister’s camper in tears. The truth was, I had no symptoms and I still had 5 days to go until my test. I just felt the result was not going to be good and I broke down.  

On test day, I was petrified. I didn’t want to see the results because I felt it would be another heartbreak. We waited until we had finished supper that evening and then logged into my health account to see the results. My hands were shaking as I scrolled down and saw what I had waited 7 years to see again… I positive beta. I was pregnant. To celebrate, we went out and got ice cream and I felt a sense of calm that I hadn’t in almost a decade.  

The next day, I met my sister at the gym. I could not wait to share our news with her in the same way she had told me about her pregnancies, in the gym parking lot after a workout. After our class we walked to our cars, and I told her she might need hang on to her baby things so that I could use them next. She cried out “Finally!!” and we both started crying and hugging.  

That day, I went for lunch with a friend who I hadn’t seen in a long time. As we sat and caught up on what we had been up to for the last few months, she asked how things had been going with our fertility. I told her about our donor application, our failed transfer, and then finally, that I just found out I was pregnant. Happy tears. We talked about my baby.  

That afternoon I got a call from the clinic. They felt like my HSG level was a little low and wanted me to repeat my bloodwork the next day to make sure it was doubling. Of course, when you hear something like that, you can’t help but worry and fear the worst. I googled slow-rising beta and prayed that I was one of those rare cases that has a successful pregnancy despite it. 

The next day I went back to the lab for bloodwork. As I feared, my HSG was dropping instead of doubling. Our little babe wasn’t going to make it.